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Mind the Gap

When two people come together. There is a fair amount of getting to know each other to do because you need to find out the gaps. You should be mindful, otherwise you might just fall right in and break a leg or a heart with the misalignment.

You have different upbringing and background. You have different cultures and values. You have different decision-making and problem solving processes. You have different expectations and reactions to situations. You speak different love languages.

You may have similar dreams and aspirations you wish to pursue together, hence when you decide to do life together there are certain amounts of weight shifting. You have to adjust to each other and see what roles each person takes up. Are you equal individuals or is one more dependent on the other? Does one person outshine the other or each has their own strengths? Who is more of a listener or problem solver? Do you take different roles in front of peers as opposed to at home? Who handles more the details and who has more of a bigger picture view? Some relationships may breeze through probation period without even realising it and settle comfortably. Some relationships require willing and constant compromise which feels like hard work. I suppose it should have a balance of the two and it requires adjustment with time and changing circumstances. That is what I miss sometimes, the ‘us’ element – as the ultimate goal is for two to become one.

***Photo by bgorsphotography

  1. May 26, 2012 at 10:18 am

    Have you read The Five Love Languages book?

    • May 26, 2012 at 5:17 pm

      Not yet but someone told me about it. Have u read it?

      • May 26, 2012 at 7:38 pm

        I have read it several times. While it helped with relationships, it helps if the other partner understands what her (or “his”) love language is and then how to cultivate the relationship knowing that.

      • May 27, 2012 at 2:44 am

        Seems useful and practical

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