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Results oriented relationships

Recently I met a friend in a Shisha bar for a catch up. He asked if I wanted to have some and actually I’ve never tried it before, so he offered me his. I took a puff and waited. Nothing happened. So I asked him ‘Am I suppose to feel anything? I mean is it meant to relax you or numb your awareness or make you feel on top of the world?’ He laughed at me and told me to chill out and stop being so results oriented, that I’m off work now and I can stop looking for desired outcomes.

But aren’t we like that in relationships too? If this is not going anywhere then let’s just end it, and it was only your second date.

This is how it goes. You compare check lists on the first couple of dates: Do you want to have 3 children? Do you want to live in an English-speaking country? What kind of partner do you want? What hobbies do you have? What do you want to achieve in the next 5 years? Are you happy with where you are at now? What is your financial management strategy? What are your strengths and weaknesses? How do you handle difficult situations? Do you possess leadership skills?

Once you’ve decided that you have similar goals and objections, you set out a process map or flow chat on how you want to achieve those together and you set milestones and delivery dates of each project. When to get engaged? Where do you want the wedding? Do you want to live in a house or apartment? How are we going to fund it? How long until we try for our first child? Will she be a stay home mum?

You will have regular status update meeting with important stakeholders and flash an item amber or red if it is behind schedule or at risk. So his parents don’t really like you. His ex still keeps in contact with him. You don’t have enough money. Your period is not regular.

You will find the root cause of problems and propose solutions for bottlenecks before the matter gets worse and out of control or things get blown out of budget. You buy his parents expensive Christmas presents to woo them. You warn his ex that he is taken and happy now. You kick start a strict saving plan with no going out activity and cut down on all luxury food items. You research everything to do with IVF and adoption.

What happened to falling in love first?!?!

***Photo by journeyexplorer

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