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Posts Tagged ‘love’

Not meant to be

February 10, 2014 Leave a comment
Sitting on the sofa quiet as a mouse
Counting the hours you have floated about
Scared to wake or draw close to you
As it might not be the appropriate cue
Standing guard in case you need me
But you seem content so just let it be
You said thank you a hundred times
Inside I say I love you without sounding a chime
God sent me only to be a guardian angel
We were never meant to be lovers as it didn’t fit the puzzle

***Photo by journeyexplorer

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Recent hobby

This is what I have been doing in the last few months hence neglecting this blog a little.

Spring in love

As the ice melts away, there seems to be signs of life again.

The aromas of flowers blossoming and fresh cut grass hits your nostrils.

Don’t you think spring just smells like love?

***Photo by journeyexplorer

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When my world becomes colourless…

The Perfect Mistress

April 17, 2011 4 comments

You know how at the Oscars they have Best Supporting Actor and Actress etc. Well I have always wanted to win the BSGFOTY award ie Best Supporting Girl Friend Of The Year. But I never came close to being nominated. In fact I became the Best Self Loving Girl Friend Of the Year. Truth is, I make a perfect mistress but not wife. You can have all the fun and laughs with me, you can take me to the dinner parties or a musical performance. I can hold intellectual conversation or tell you all about my travels but when it comes to responsibilities I’m not up for it. Sure I come up with lots of excuses  but reality is I’m not yet ready. However, the million dollar question is will I ever be ready?

One time a friend said to me it takes a lot of courage to enter into marriage. I had no idea what she was on about, but now I get a glimpse of it. I also forget that BOTH people have to say the vow, and I am not the sole receiver of the promise. I always imagine when the day comes I will write my own vows, but also worry that I might get too nervous and forget it all. But I hate the idea of having to repeat after someone when you are saying the most important words in your life time thus far. So here it is, this is my vow to remind myself each day of my privilege, honour and duty as a wife until the day I say it out loud.

I, Michelle, take you to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love. I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.

***Photo by bgorsphotography


Reverse L’Oreal Syndrome

Anna is desperate for love; yet she pushes away those who ever try to love her. Anna is so insecure that she needs to put those who love her to test, push them to their limits to see how they will respond.

When she gets in fights with her boyfriend, Alex, she tells him ‘I don’t want to talk to you.’ Then she will not answer his phone calls for three days and let him worry sick about her. But all this time she is hanging by her phone to see how many times he’s called her and how many messages and voice mails he has left to apologise.

When Alex says something that pisses her off, she will run away and let him chase after her in the busy shopping mall. One time she even hid in the ladies’ toilets for a while but then she got worried that he wouldn’t be able to find her, so she came out and stood where it was easier to find her.

When she wants something, she makes sure that he goes out of his way and move mountains to get it for her. Alex lined up overnight in front of HMV to get the concert tickets she really wanted, but she just dismissed them and put them on the table when he produced the tickets hoping it would bring a surprised and pleased smile to her face.

But despite all Alex’s efforts, who proved again and again that he loves her to bits, she is still uncomfortable to let herself just simply be loved. She makes a drama out of everything and makes herself into a selfish difficult person so if one day he packs his bags and go, there will be a valid reason for that and it might hurt less. If there is any hint that the relationship is getting a bit edgy she will convince herself that she didn’t really love him that much anyway and she can easily move on if it didn’t work out. She believes that it is better to break his heart than live with a broken heart. She wants to make sure that Alex loves her more than she loves him, that it will only ever be that she leaves him and not vice versa because she is terrified of losing.

Anna has a disease. It is called Reverse L’Oreal Syndrome – “Because I’m not worth it”.

***Photography by bgorsphotography

**The term Reverse L’Oreal Syndrome comes from the novel, A Room Swept White by Sophie Hannah

Beethoven’s Love Letter

February 14, 2011 Leave a comment

“my eternally beloved”

 

 

 

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us – I can live only wholly with you or not at all – Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits – Yes, unhappily it must be so – You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart – never – never – Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life – Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men – At my age I need a steady, quiet life – can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day – therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once – Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together – Be calm – love me – today – yesterday – what tearful longings for you – you – you – my life – my all – farewell. Oh continue to love me – never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine
ever mine
ever ours